Last night it was around 1am when I was startled out of a very deep sleep cycle by Siena’s crying. I woke and went to make sure that she hadn’t done her customary rollover followed by the infinite frustration of not being able to correct her self. She was fine, all tucked away and right side up so I left her to see if she would resettle. I walked back into the room and in my tiredness I whinged, “why, why is she crying?” 3 seconds later she went quiet and I felt instantly guilty, loathing myself and my selfishness as I lay back down.
I knew I wasn’t going to fall back to sleep. My mind was now buzzing and I had remembered what had happened 2 days ago, the horrible and senseless killing in Connecticut. 26 humans lost. 6 adults, 20 children.
20 children. Their whole lives ahead of them. Guilty of nothing but laughter and curiosity. Innocent and pure.
6 adults. Dedicating their lives to raising the future of our society.
All snatched from their families by a sick, sick, sick individual with a gun. Sick with hate, sick in the mind.
I know, I know. These tragedies have always happened, and they get more coverage than the forgotten innocent who die in the ‘war on terror’, in ‘dictator’s Africa’, in places all over the entire world.
But this one had hit home like an arrow to the heart. I was hurting, disillusioned, broken hearted, and devastated about this state of existence, an existence where something like this is possible. I stewed and stewed and stewed on it until the sleeping tablet I took sent me back to blissful dreamless nothing.
This morning I woke and my mind returned to that dark place. My heart was at the bottom of my stomach. A shattered red Christmas ball, sharp, broken and untidy, lying in pieces on the black floor of my feelings.
I said my prayers while I showered, thanked god for every millisecond of life I had with the people I love, prayed for the victims and their families, prayed for our lost and hopeless world. One that allows this kind of disgusting crap to happen.
As I was praying Nikita walked in. She was carrying her ‘blanky’ and ‘doggie’ as well as a couple of other toys. You could hardly see any more than 2 tiny legs behind the pile she carried. She sat down at the foot of the bed and just stared at me cheekily, half smiling behind her sucked thumb. I barely hung on to my emotions at the thought that she might ever, ever be taken away from me. I felt helpless, weak and absolutely tiny in the light of the task ahead of me. The task of protecting her against the evil festering in our society. An evil that didn’t fear good and one that was getting a greater foothold everyday in our civilization.
I asked her how she was.
Quietly, in her morning voice she said a whispered ‘good.’
‘How did you sleep baby?’
Just then we were interrupted by a loud noise. Nikita sucked in a vocal breath.
‘Daddy. Whats that?’ She scrunched her face up in thought. ‘A truck?’
She came over to me. She didn’t run like she usually did when confronted by a loud noise. There was a confidence in her stroll.
‘I’m not scared of trucks anymore daddy. Up.’
I picked her up and held her close.
‘Oh that’s good baby. You’re so brave.’
‘Daddy. Nothing scares me.’
I was blown away. The emotion was thick in me. I could feel it sitting in the pores of my skin about to overflow but once again I held on. That statement revived me. Because children are the ultimate essence of good, untouched as yet by the world around them. This was my sign. Stand up and fight.
We walked out and chatted as I put her in front of the TV to watch the early morning cartoons. I went to Siena’s room and gave her a big kiss, then Nikita, then Amanda. Each action felt so much more important to me than usual.
I wasn’t down any more. I wasn’t sad. I was angry.
As I was driving down the street a bloke flew past me in the left lane. He was going well over the speed limit, then he pulled in front of me without indicating, flying up the road. I pulled up at the round about and he was just in front of me. 0.5 seconds progress he had made. That was what his selfishness had gained him. 0.5 seconds progress. I felt like getting out of the car and shaking him saying; “Are you dead? Are you blind? Did you not see what happened to those children on Saturday? Do you even give two shits? Or are you just concerned about you? You? You? You!’
Here lies the problem in society. It starts here with pissy little acts of selfishness.
Laziness, arrogance, complacency, i-specialism and god damn half-assed efforts from humanity. All accumulating together in one big pile to the severe degradation of the integrity of the human race. Tiny little acts from good everyday people who just aren’t trying hard enough. Who are coasting. Who are making it easier for themselves at the expense of others without really thinking of the tiny little consequences that add up.
Are you pushing in front of someone in a line? Speeding even though you know the law? Not indicating because you think you don’t need to? Driving past a broken car? Driving home just a little drunk because its just too hard to come back for the car the next day? Come on now have you? I know that I have.
Are you reaching to take the speck out of someones eye even though you have a log in your own? Bagging the shit out of someone else because they are wrong but overlooking your own failures?
Are you looking out for number one?
Of course you are! I am, you are, he is and she is. Don’t deny it, we are human and that’s human nature, or so it seems lately. To put ourselves before others, to get as much as we can in this god damned rat race of a life so that at the end we just leave it all frigging behind anyway.
Well here’s an idea, how about you look after me and I’ll look after you?
Have a think about this good people. These sick freaks are a product of our society. Lets face it.
The line between black and white, between good and bad, has blurred to grey and in this grey area, demons are born.
The demons of mental sickness, bullying, stealing, backstabbing, drug dealing, cheating, lying and touting guns for a response of violence to counteract violence.
We ditch Christ in schools, rape the meaning of Christmas by calling it Xmas but what do we replace it with?
We don’t want God in our lives any more, we want to stand on our own two feet but what is the new moral compass? Where’s the support for parents in teaching our children good when they aren’t at home now?
If you ask me, we need a new subject in schools called HUMAN MORALITY or SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR THE HUMAN RACE. A subject that’s more important than Maths, English, Social Studies or Economics. And I’m not talking about skimming over it either. I’m about full scale comprehensive attention to detail.
A subject that teaches consequences. Consequences of drugs, bullying, stealing, speeding, drinking, violence, hatred, racism, reverse racism and cowardice in doing what’s right. The consequences of selfishness. A subject that focuses wholly and completely on bettering the human race, ONE INDIVIDUAL AT A TIME.
That’s a good start but let’s dig deeper. Right down to the individual. Right into our own minds.
Sure we need to get rid of the guns but this stuff isn’t just happening in America. Its happening everywhere. Selfishness. The point when you are presented with a choice of making a difference on the tiniest scale. The point when you decide to ignore a chance to help someone. The point when you forget to say ‘thank-you’, or ‘have a nice day’. The point where you decide to talk about someone instead of trying to help them and then if it proves useless, pile on a bit more shit for them to unknowingly carry.
We’ll I’m calling you out human race. Are each and every one of us doing ALL that we can?
I’m calling MYSELF out and I’m calling YOU out.
I’m calling you out ‘little guy.’
I’m calling you out ‘ease up, I’m doing OK’ lady.
I’m calling you out ‘there’s nothing we can do’ people.
I’m calling you out ‘comfort zone’ man.
I’m calling you out ‘line jumper.’
I’m calling you out ‘what will other people think’ – thinker.
We can’t blame our leaders anymore. We can’t stand by and bitch, moan, whinge and piss into the wind anymore, throwing our hands up and saying ‘it’s screwed up. It’s a tragedy. It’s so, so, sad.’
This war against darkness will not be won by world leaders. It will be won by 20 billion small fries, 20 billion little guys joining together to create a force so strong that nothing will stand in it’s way.
Black, white, brown, yellow or red. Come here and stand by me now.
To you killer, we say no!
To you gangster, we say no!
To you cheater, we say no!
To you bikie, we say no!
To you pervert, we say no!
To you extremist, we say no!
To you liar we say no!
To you drug dealer, WE SAY NO!
Here. Now we are trying much harder!
So how do we all do this? Just suddenly become perfect? No!
OUR ACTS WILL BE OUR SWORDS – OUR GUNS.
This world is seeing greater and greater evil, ruthless in its execution. How can we possible hope to overcome it if not with heroic proportions of good? We need to stand together and bring the volume up. We must let go of our pointless feuds, petty grudges, bigoted prejudices and blinding stubbornness.
We will start with one small act per day. We will claw more good back into the world one tiny act at a time. We will suffocate evil with an excess of good instead of the other way around.
‘Go before me friend.’
‘Here’s some money friend.’
‘Ill get it friend.’
‘Are you OK stranger?’
‘Have a nice day stranger.’
‘Thank you friend.’
‘Nobody’s perfect friend – just try a little harder’
One small and selfless act from each of us every day. 20 billion extra small and selfless acts every single day. 140 billion extra small and selfless acts every week. That’s what we have to offer our world. That’s the scale of impact we are able to have. That, is where we will start.
And that’s how we WILL make a change.
Naive? Not possible? It wont make a difference? These are words of a coward, a defeatist, a grey area dweller.
In the name of innocent children snatched away before their time.
In the name of parents who will never again be whole.
In the name of making the words ‘nothing scares me dad’ hold the tiniest form of truth!
It is time for us to do better. We have to be better.
I’m starting today. I’m starting right now. I’m responsible for this world so I’m going to be responsible for it.
If you believe that our world needs help then do the same.
If you believe that 1 person joined with another can make a difference then do the same.
If you truly believe that you can be better with just a little more effort then do the same.
If you believe that it’s not your fault, that it can’t be helped, that it’s just the way it is…
Then walk away. Dwell in your grey little world. Sit on the fence and bask in laziness and selfishness.
Us good people are off to make a difference.
If you honestly believe in this, then share this post.
If you don’t – at least have the guts to say why.