My dearest Nikita. You are now 5 years old.
My little phenomenon. You could dribble a soccer ball before you could properly walk and indeed, before you stopped dribbling. The way you hit that golf ball the other day? WOW!
You once buzzed around the house at a million miles an hour, we thought you would never stop. I thought you would never calm down. But although you can still get crazy, you’re much different now.
You’re more lithe and spritely. Your little movements are graceful. The footfalls of your approach sound like a dainty little padding on air.
Still I know when you are coming. I always know when you are coming. It’s as if I feel it rather than hear it.
You are a sight for weary eyes my darling.
Your face is usually dirty. Your hair is usually a mess.
But oh! How you transform, with one little dress!
Those lashes as they look down and consider your style. The far away look and that casual smile.
The groove of your lower eyelids, the crinkle of your nose when you express genuine delight.
These things melt me in a moment. They drown me in awe.
The most precious of things that I ever did saw 🙂
A princess to dance with.
A comfort to hold.
A reason to live, and to live until old.
You are so unassuming, aloof and blasé. But there’s nothing I’d rather do, than watch you that way.
I pick you up from school and you’ve nothing to say.
You’re saving it all for dinner time, to make me go crazy.
You can make me lose my mind, yet while I’m exploding – just one wounded look and my anger’s imploding.
You are a freaky sleeper Nikita. You regularly scare me at night. Sitting up all crazy there, rocking back and forth with your hair over your face. Crying out to the silent house in tongues unknown!
You do weird stuff! A creeper.
You lurk in the shadows of the room and rouse me with that presence.
I know you don’t like the dark Niki’. But you should not fear! For you are the shadow’s enemy.
Your light, it burns into every nook and cranny.
I remember a day when I saw the world as obscene and ugly. I arrived home to find that you had drawn it more beautifully than I could have ever pictured. Amazement is never far behind you.
You know that flowers make me sneeze, still you bring them to me continually. It’s as if you’re trying to teach me that all beauty comes at some expense. You don’t care for my ailments, you know what I need.
You are inoffensive by nature my wonderful child.
Your demeanour is one of gentleness.
You are inquisitive and empathetic with the furrowed brow of a deep thinker. Slow to anger, especially with your sister. Quick to forgive. Don’t let people use this against you. But spare some of that for me, I make many mistakes.
Never change Nikita.
I know not a grey day around you. In life, I am merely your canvas. You are the paint, the brush and the creator.
You colour my world. You always will.
You will always colour people’s worlds. Privileged will be those who know you.
And more fool those who don’t give themselves that chance!
No one sees you like I see you Nik’.
I love to watch you, lost in your own little world. Because your little world, is mine in it’s entirety.
I wait the whole day to see you. My day starts the second, that you crash into my arms.
You keep me grounded like an anchor, still you are my wings.
You have the memory of an Elephant. You forget absolutely nothing.
And that’s good my sweet little one.
Because any commitment I make to you is one that will be seen through.
To disappoint you is my greatest fear.
To make you proud of me is my sole driver.
You should never feel the need to impress me.
I am in awe of you, every single day.
When ever I speak of you. I know the words can’t possibly do you justice.
But I will always dare to try because the way I feel about you simply cannot be contained.
You are my beautiful little oxymoron.
My little Nikita, I have a question for you.
When the very thought of you humbles me beyond words.
Why then, does it still feel, like I am the greatest man alive?